Your spouse will change into one of those paper robes. Fortunately, they no longer have open backs. Get comfortable next to the bed as nurses take blood, prep your spouse, and otherwise get ready for surgery. Blood taking, it should be noted, is an art. Don't be afraid to ask for an experienced nurse for this procedure. This is more for the psychological well being of all involved than anything else.

     Then after visits from anesthesiologists and surgeons, your spouse gets carted away. This is likely to be an emotional moment - try to keep it together and be encouraging (i.e. "I'll see you in a bit", "I'll be here when you wake up"). Now comes the hard part: THE WAITING.

     Surgery, depending on the severity, can take hours. And hours. And hours. Stake out your waiting place. Hospitals often have a multitude of hidden waiting rooms with TVs and reading material. Make sure the surgeon knows to contact you when the surgery's over, and that hospital staff know where you will be at all times.

     Be sure to bring a book, or a hobby, or both. Figure out where the cafeteria is, and the bathroom. Then sit tight.

     Surgery is painful, and it gets more painful after the pain medication wears off. If you're driving home, avoid bumpy areas -- every bump feels much worse to your spouse.

     Once you get home, make sure your home is prepared for someone who isn't going to be interested in moving much. Ideally, a family member can help, or you can ask the hospital staff about volunteers who can visit while you're at work.

     Your spouse isn't going to be able to eat much, will probably be rather pale, and not interested (or capable) of doing more than watching TV. Medication can weaken the eyes as well, so even these menial tasks may be beyond your spouse. Be alert, understanding, and accessible by phone (cell phones are even better).

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