Question: How Do I Handle Unwanted Advice About IBD?
You probably know a lot of people who have opinions about your inflammatory bowel disease (IBD). They may think that you should be on a different medication, should see a different doctor, or should try complementary or alternative medicine. Some of these people may even be friends or family members. When the "advice" comes your way, how should you react?
Answer:
They Give Advice Because They Care
Yes, there are people who give advice just to hear themselves talk, but more than likely the people offering you advice are doing so because they care about you and want you to feel better. When you take a moment to remember that it can really help you from becoming annoyed and defensive when you're presented with unsolicited IBD advice.Is The Advice Valid?
IBD is a difficult disease to treat, so many of us become patient experts about our own health. There may not be much someone could tell you about IBD that's new to you. Even so, you may want to take a moment to consider if the advice being offered has a grain of usefulness to it. Sometimes the people closest to us can see things that we don't see. Might you benefit from a yoga class? Could your energy level be slowly decreasing over time? If the advice comes from a trusted and caring source, it might merit some consideration.You Don't Have To Take Advice To Acknowledge It
Your best friend or your mother may be constantly offering advice about IBD, but it just doesn't make sense for you to act on their ideas. That's OK! You can take in the advice, you can even thank the person for their concern, but that doesn't mean you have to act on it. You can simply be polite and let it roll off your back. After all, it's not worth letting it get under your skin and cause you more stress.And If You Really Just Can't Take It
When the advice becomes overwhelming, or you're repeatedly asked why you haven't gone to see that new doctor or start that new medicine, then you will have to deal with the situation head-on. Thank the person for their advice, but let them know that you are not acting on it because it's just not the right decision for you. Closing yourself off to someone or burning a bridge with them isn't advisable, but instead be gentle but firm in letting them know that their advice isn't appropriate.This can be a perfect time to educate your friend or family member on the ins and outs of IBD, such as that stress is not a cause, or that every medication does not work for every patient. You might need to repeat yourself until you're heard and understood, but if you really can't deal with the unwanted advice anymore, you should absolutely try to solve the problem rather than letting it continue.
